I don't know how much more I can take. I'm freaking exhausted. I'm exhausted from have people do things that boggle my mind, and hurt the ones around them. I'm exhausted from constantly having to fend off comments about my weight, when all the while I'm pretending to act like I'm totally okay with someone telling me I should ahve lap band for the 343rd time. I'm exhausted from people demanding that I be more, try harder and act cooler for them. Findally I'm sick and tired of not knowing the reason why I feel compelled to please these people, when I get nothing in return. I dont' understand why society wants to put these obligations on you, that consequently if not fulfilled make you out to be a bad, selfish human being. The fact of the matter is that I don't live enough for myself. Yea, I've heard this line a lot too. Particularly from those that paint themselves as the Mother Theresa's of our time, but I'm no Mother Theresa and neither are they. I'm just an average girl, who's sick and tired for feeling like she must make excuses for her slovenly ways and sporadic episodes of manic cleaning. I have reclusive tendencies, where I'm perfectly contect reading or watching movies on my couch all weekend long, while the world outside does their adult-like chores and goes out to their big grown up functions. I'm happy spending the weekend with my husband even if we don't even leave the house except to get groceries for the week.

Maybe I set myself up to be this person, but I don'tknow why people look at me weird, or get butt-hurt when I tell them No, I don't want to go to such and such restaurant and spend a bunch of money I don't have, because I'd rather stay home and do things for myself.